Have you been weighing the pros and cons of getting a divorce? If you have kids, making this type of decision can be particularly difficult. But it’s far better to take action than it is to delay. While you may have talked to your spouse about staying together “for the sake of the kids,” this isn’t always the best option. Here’s why:
Kids aren’t stupid. Whether you’re the parents of teenagers or toddlers, kids aren’t stupid. They know when you’re happy, sad, stressed or anxious and it doesn’t have to be obvious. Kids pay attention to everything that we do. They see our interactions with one another and if there is clearly tension or the marriage is beyond repair, why fake it?
Screaming and yelling creates a toxic environment. Do you and your spouse tend to have yelling matches rather than conversations? Psychology Today says it isn’t divorce itself that causes emotional damage, it’s being exposed to an environment that’s toxic or hostile. When a marriage is winding down, there are plenty of disagreements; promise one another that you’ll address these matters in private, with the kids out of earshot.
Reassurance matters. The divorce process can take months or even years. As living arrangements change and reality sets in, make sure your kids know that you love them and always will. Stress that the divorce is in no way their fault and that you and your spouse will always be there for them through thick and thin.