We’ve all heard the statistics: between 40-50% of first marriages end in divorce and about 60-65% of second marriages end in divorce. As you can see, if you and your spouse have decided to end your marriage, you aren’t alone. But being a statistic won’t necessarily ease your pain.
Divorce is a time of emotional turmoil. It closes one chapter of your life and turns the page to another. Even if your divorce is amicable, it’s perfectly normal to feel upset, afraid, and uncertain about what the future holds. Fortunately, there’s plenty you can do to make the transition easier on yourself.
1. Find a support group. It’s common for divorcees to close themselves off to those around them, but isolation can make you feel worse. Even if you don’t feel comfortable sharing your feelings with family or friends, you might want to join a divorce support group. DivorceCare.org provides a directory of support groups all over the nation. It also provides tips and insights on dealing with the holidays, moving on with your life, and feeling better.
2. Be kind to yourself. Just because your marriage is ending doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you. Sometimes, relationships don’t work out, no matter how hard you try. Though it can be tempting to beat yourself up and think about all the things you could have done differently, there’s no point. Now is the time to love and take care of yourself. Listen carefully and be kind.
3. Invest in professional counseling. During a divorce, seeking the services of a professional counselor is one of the best decisions you can make. Visiting a counselor presents an opportunity to talk through your feelings and better know yourself.
4. Try to stop worrying. When you’re going through a divorce, there are only so many things you can control. Much of your fate lies in the hands of the court, your former spouse, and your legal team. As long as you attend all of your mediation appointments and court dates and keep a level head, you can feel confident things will work out.